Never, ever, EVER let someone tell you that it is best to just shut your mouth to keep the peace.
So as you might guess, today was a rather interesting day. (<--This day was actually last week, but the point is important as ever...)
My morning started out wonderfully with a call from a very magical and wonderful woman named Kathy. Business seeds were planted and I am so excited to see them grow!
My day of awesome then took a turn for the not-so-awesome. Suddenly I was interrupted by one thing after another, and that in turn developed into a rushed tattoo outline of how I felt. (It turned out AWESOME though and an insane amount of crazy love to rhysmcdonald for being awesome and drawing something up for me and to my dearest Chad for making time for me)
It was while that was getting done that I spit some of the anger I was feeling about life at the moment on Twitter. And somehow that automagically turned into a giant ball of love that rolled back over me in one big *squuueeeezle*. I cant even being to explain what it feels like when I feel alone, isolated and bottled-up to suddenly have people I've never even gotten to meet in person giving me hugs and just taking time out of their probably-also-hellacious day to send me some love. I want to cry thinking about it (Yes, I am a giant baby...)
MY POINT.
The day came to an end, and someone decided they needed to tell me the following: “You can change how people view you without changing who you are...bite your tongue and let things go ... just to keep the peace."
This brought forcibly home that I now find myself at a turning point. I have mentioned in past blogs that I walk a tight rope between my personal and professional life. All my life, I've heard either these words, or what amounted to these words: "Look one way and act another." "Please other people, even it it doesn't please you, because you've got to make that sale." "Keep your emotions out of the business." What it all amounts to is people telling me to draw that in between who I am and what I do, I need to draw a line in the sand and make it thick and apparent. Hell, they want a border fence, dogs, and some machine guns guarding that border.
I've been realizing more and more that I don't have to do that. I can, in effect, say screw it and just be me. Now, I have struggled with this blog from time-to-time because, well, lets face it, when you arrive here, this could very well be your first impression of me. *EEK* I swear I am not a drama queen. Ask around. Really.
However, I am at a point of self-discovery through my soap-making-and-crafting-
What's that I hear you saying "Get on with it Kylee, WHAT does that have to do with your rocking soap business? I am here to know when you are getting those soaps out and shipped to me!" Well, Mr./Mrs. Impatient Pants -- Take a look HERE if that's the info you need, cause it is about to get mushy up in here...
Honestly, if you want to do something, if you want to try something, if you just want to be something -- Don't shut-up to keep the peace. (You'll be trading your peace for their's) Do not pretend to be something you aren't. (Because you'll always know it's a lie). You don't. In fact, the only one who can make you give up what you want, who you are, or who you want to be is you. ...Easier said than done, I know.
Arrrgh! Jason! You just called me and now I am all happy and totally lost my direction! Sheesh. You trouble maker. :p
♥
7 comments:
Trouble maker? Me? Okay, yeah...I see your point. <3
Kylee, I love you. <3 For serious.
::LOVE::
I'm slowly learning this lesson myself. The lesson about trying to make MYSELF happy, and not everyone else.
I spend an absurd amount of my life keeping the peace and avoiding confrontation and it sucks.
I can keep trying though. =)
One of the best things about you is how accessible you are. You are a real person, a whole person, and that is immediately apparent to anyone who runs across anything you put out there. Honesty and truth to self a whole lot sexier than appeasement, and you know what? They're probably better for everyone, at least when it comes to someone like you. (There are some folks out there who feel at peace when they "keep the peace," but I say it's no fault not to be one of those folks.)
I say luff.
We still don't know much about one another, so this may come as a bit of a surprise: I'm really not as charismatic as I appear to be. It's always been a struggle for me to find a way in with people. Lucky for me, I've never been at a loss of words, and I've found that online, I don't have quite so many fears and inhibitions as I would in real life (which is really an epidemic and can be unfortunate... but it works well for me).
I've done a lot of things for work. I've cooked, I've cleaned, I've sold things, I've made things... hell I was even a Man of Action once upon a time. Now... well... now I fix things. I love what I do, but I think you know what my real passion is. But because I've spent most of my life serving (not servicing... shame on you) other people, I've had to walk that fine line. I've always thought of it as "speaking to an audience". I don't have to change who I am, I just have to be aware who I'm talking to. It requires some effort on my part to learn about that person and find what makes them tick (or go BOOM) and it doesn't always work. The way I see it, if they can't accept me, even as I've tried to accommodate them, then it's not worth it.
You will always be loved (Hell, I love ya and I don't even know ya), but there is a middling group of people who you will do business with, but not carry on personal relationships with. Those are the people you actually have to know the best (in my experience.. a la keep your friends close, but your enemies closer). Find out what they need and give it to them, provided it doesn't make you give up who you are. If you can't compromise, then you shake hands on go on your merry.
Know this: What you have going here is special, and it's fueled by YOU. But you will always have to choose your battles, small and large. Look at the big picture and decide what's best for YOU. That's the key to being happy and successful; understanding that you can't please everyone, and that somewhere along the line, you will have to cut people out, just to keep sane.
... just as long as it isn't me ;)
I have always found that "keeping the peace" results in a complete loss of your own internal peace. Especially in any creative act, you can't be anything other than what you are, or your work suffers miserably. Wonderful, wonderful post!
Thank you everyone for reading! And commenting! ♥ It makes me super happy to have so many amazing friends. *group hug!*
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