Never, ever, EVER let someone tell you that it is best to just shut your mouth to keep the peace.
So as you might guess, today was a rather interesting day. (<--This day was actually last week, but the point is important as ever...)
My morning started out wonderfully with a call from a very magical and wonderful woman named Kathy. Business seeds were planted and I am so excited to see them grow!
My day of awesome then took a turn for the not-so-awesome. Suddenly I was interrupted by one thing after another, and that in turn developed into a rushed tattoo outline of how I felt. (It turned out AWESOME though and an insane amount of crazy love to rhysmcdonald for being awesome and drawing something up for me and to my dearest Chad for making time for me)
It was while that was getting done that I spit some of the anger I was feeling about life at the moment on Twitter. And somehow that automagically turned into a giant ball of love that rolled back over me in one big *squuueeeezle*. I cant even being to explain what it feels like when I feel alone, isolated and bottled-up to suddenly have people I've never even gotten to meet in person giving me hugs and just taking time out of their probably-also-hellacious day to send me some love. I want to cry thinking about it (Yes, I am a giant baby...)
The day came to an end, and someone decided they needed to tell me the following: “You can change how people view you without changing who you are...bite your tongue and let things go ... just to keep the peace."
This brought forcibly home that I now find myself at a turning point. I have mentioned in past blogs that I walk a tight rope between my personal and professional life. All my life, I've heard either these words, or what amounted to these words: "Look one way and act another." "Please other people, even it it doesn't please you, because you've got to make that sale." "Keep your emotions out of the business." What it all amounts to is people telling me to draw that in between who I am and what I do, I need to draw a line in the sand and make it thick and apparent. Hell, they want a border fence, dogs, and some machine guns guarding that border.
I've been realizing more and more that I don't have to do that. I can, in effect, say screw it and just be me. Now, I have struggled with this blog from time-to-time because, well, lets face it, when you arrive here, this could very well be your first impression of me. *EEK* I swear I am not a drama queen. Ask around. Really.
However, I am at a point of self-discovery through my soap-making-and-crafting-
What's that I hear you saying "Get on with it Kylee, WHAT does that have to do with your rocking soap business? I am here to know when you are getting those soaps out and shipped to me!" Well, Mr./Mrs. Impatient Pants -- Take a look HERE if that's the info you need, cause it is about to get mushy up in here...
Honestly, if you want to do something, if you want to try something, if you just want to be something -- Don't shut-up to keep the peace. (You'll be trading your peace for their's) Do not pretend to be something you aren't. (Because you'll always know it's a lie). You don't. In fact, the only one who can make you give up what you want, who you are, or who you want to be is you. ...Easier said than done, I know.
Arrrgh! Jason! You just called me and now I am all happy and totally lost my direction! Sheesh. You trouble maker. :p